Previous Event - Event 5 Horse Racing
CRAZY ROUTES, BIG WINS & A PRECARIOUS VIEWING LOCATION
THE HORSE RACES - SATURDAY 26th JUNE 2010
Glorious Weather greeted the Dick-athlete's on the day of The Dick-athlon 2010 - Event 5 - The Horse Races. Well.....except for The Peacemaker. He was greeted with a flooded kitchen in one of his houses thus causing him to miss the event.
The Dick-athlete's Dick-athlete, Chairman Choker, The Lord of The Ring and Moaning Middle Man could very nearly have missed the event due to the craziest, cannonball type route to Ellesmere Port ever attempted. This was thanks to (a) The Dick-athlete's Dick-athlete forgetting to bring directions and (b) Moaning Middle Man claiming he knew the way, but concentrating on The Racing Post rather than announcing when to take the correct turn off. These two errors resulted in the boys taking in Southport, Crosby, Bootle, Liverpool and The Mersey tunnel before arriving at the hotel, over an hour late. They had 15 mins to get ready compared to the 70 mins (plus beers) the other Dick-athletes had. Their early arrival can be attributed to either (a) sensibly purchasing a Sat Nav or (b) printing off directions.
2 dick-athlete's down, only 8 attending the Post event soiree. Was this shaping up to be the disaster that The Uber Dick-athlon Sh!thouse had been predicting.................the simple answer was a resolute 'NO' as it turned out to be one of the best events of the year thus far and one of the best post event drinking sessions for all involved......this was despite sweating like Mel Gibson in Harlem for most of the day due to wearing suits on the hottest day of the year.
So, after finding the most precarious place to view the races from in the whole of Chester Racecourse it was time for the races to begin.....
(1) Moaning Middle Man £69
Although some would say his winnings on the day were pure luck, Moaning Middle Man claimed that the form had been studied as his horses raced home time and time again. Was overjoyed to be wearing the Winner's jacket although there were some signs of Barnish style arrogance as the drinks / sun / power affected him. His Dick-athlon name may have to be changed if his success continues.
Glorious Weather greeted the Dick-athlete's on the day of The Dick-athlon 2010 - Event 5 - The Horse Races. Well.....except for The Peacemaker. He was greeted with a flooded kitchen in one of his houses thus causing him to miss the event.
The Dick-athlete's Dick-athlete, Chairman Choker, The Lord of The Ring and Moaning Middle Man could very nearly have missed the event due to the craziest, cannonball type route to Ellesmere Port ever attempted. This was thanks to (a) The Dick-athlete's Dick-athlete forgetting to bring directions and (b) Moaning Middle Man claiming he knew the way, but concentrating on The Racing Post rather than announcing when to take the correct turn off. These two errors resulted in the boys taking in Southport, Crosby, Bootle, Liverpool and The Mersey tunnel before arriving at the hotel, over an hour late. They had 15 mins to get ready compared to the 70 mins (plus beers) the other Dick-athletes had. Their early arrival can be attributed to either (a) sensibly purchasing a Sat Nav or (b) printing off directions.
2 dick-athlete's down, only 8 attending the Post event soiree. Was this shaping up to be the disaster that The Uber Dick-athlon Sh!thouse had been predicting.................the simple answer was a resolute 'NO' as it turned out to be one of the best events of the year thus far and one of the best post event drinking sessions for all involved......this was despite sweating like Mel Gibson in Harlem for most of the day due to wearing suits on the hottest day of the year.
So, after finding the most precarious place to view the races from in the whole of Chester Racecourse it was time for the races to begin.....
(1) Moaning Middle Man £69
Although some would say his winnings on the day were pure luck, Moaning Middle Man claimed that the form had been studied as his horses raced home time and time again. Was overjoyed to be wearing the Winner's jacket although there were some signs of Barnish style arrogance as the drinks / sun / power affected him. His Dick-athlon name may have to be changed if his success continues.
Previous Event - Event 1 Darts
A Slap, a Choke, A Groundsman Tw@t, and A Stewards Enquiry Text Incident
SAT 8th May 2010 & Sat 15th May 2010
Big Soup, The Man With No Name and Alpine Man / Farmer were to play on the 8th May while all other Dick-athletes opted for the 15th May.
Both sets of Dick-athletes had good weather conditions but due to the heinous weather at the beginning of the year only half the course was available for play.....at least that's what the excuse the fat tw@t groundsman gave.
Those playing on the 8th May had no problem in playing the last 9 holes twice. Money paid, Clubs and balls given, "off you go lads, play the last nine holes twice if ya like".
If only it was to be so easy for the second set of Dick-athletes. The fat tw@t groundsman was determined to make sure the competitors only went round once despite being told that (a) three dick-athletes had done the last 9 twice in practice weeks earlier and that (b) other dick-athlete's had been there the previous week. After the bitter <unt begrudgingly gave the dick-athletes the clubs the game was afoot.....
Dick-athlon News
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